Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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