I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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