That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
