yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
