I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize