Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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