i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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