We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
