I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I could fuck to npr.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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