He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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