too bad you live with your parents still
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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