in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize