i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
