you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
