can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
