I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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