Where are you?
In a non slutty way
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
