I wish i was in the wii world.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
