just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I wear drunk well.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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