Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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