when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
