I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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