Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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