O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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