i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
