Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
