Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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