She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
