You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
