i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
