Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
