People with herpes should wear stickers.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
