Please, let me fuck your mom
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
