when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
