You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize