Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
