The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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