she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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