So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
