i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
