You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize