it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
