Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
