Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
