Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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