i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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