Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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