I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
