I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
