Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
