I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
