The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
