literally had 100 drinks last night.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
