is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
