We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
