Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
