Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
