"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
