i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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