I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
