Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
