I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Operation Purity has been aborted
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
