So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
