Im at strip club and am horny
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just blew my weed a kiss
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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